


take your broken heart

by KDblack



Series: Dragon Ball Collection [2]
Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Gen, it's never just a power-up, super saiyan does things to you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:08:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23564317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KDblack/pseuds/KDblack
Summary: Red was not an angry colour. The colour of rage was gold.
Series: Dragon Ball Collection [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1696063
Comments: 60
Kudos: 94





	1. Chapter 1

Super Saiyan tasted like blood between teeth. It felt like aching thighs, collapsing lungs. Hot as the air on Namek when the planet burst open. Thick as chunks of meat raining down around him. Every time Goku transformed, he went back to that moment. A dying planet. Dead friends. Madness all around.

There was something in his chest, razor sharp and simmering. He breathed deep and choked on it.

Hopelessness. Helplessness. Hurt that had nothing to do with the physical. Goku had been mad before. Killed before. But he'd never, ever seen what he saw in Frieza's eyes before. Not in Piccolo, young and lost, or Vegeta, lonely and proud. Frieza was nothing but other peoples' pain. Now he was Goku's pain. 

After Namek, people called him a hero and smiled when he told them otherwise. It wasn't humility. He'd never been less heroic than he was in that moment when everything went crystal clear and cold. Something broke in him. He could've torn Frieza apart with his teeth. He forced terror into the emperor's life, and called it good.

Red was not an angry colour. The colour of rage was gold. It lived in Goku's bones now. He'd never get it out.

Gohan stopped going Super after the Cell Games. Goku didn't get it, but he understood why. His oldest son was kind. Super Saiyan made you someone you weren't. But Goku was selfish, so he kept going. Burning colder and colder until he was warm again. Somewhere in the universe was a greater power that could put him back together. Not the same, but stronger. Someday he'd reach it and the broken thing inside him would heal.

The only way out was through.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Like the whole world was your enemy.

The first time Goku saw Vegeta burn gold, it hurt his eyes. Not from the brightness. The memories just got to him, that was all. Trunks' pain was different enough from Goku's that his Super Saiyan was a stranger, but Vegeta's? Vegeta's tasted like Frieza's laughter and a long, slow death in the wasteland. It brought back everything Goku had tried to leave on Yardrat. For a moment, he might as well never have made it back to earth.

He did everything he could to keep it from showing. He probably shouldn't have bothered. No one could read him anyway. The only ones who'd been good at spotting what lay under his smile were Chi-Chi and Vegeta; the first wasn't here and the second didn't care. Couldn't. Not with cosmic fire surging through his veins.

Funny. To Goku, Super Saiyan was nothing but rage to be harnessed, but on Vegeta it looked like joy. It wasn't a mask, like the one Goku was learning to wear – that smile was genuine. Every bit as real as the slight trembling of Vegeta's fists and the raw wildness of his eyes.

Well, Goku decided as Vegeta continued to talk, it made sense. Vegeta didn't hit Super on Namek. He died there under Freiza's cruel smile, but he didn't break, not really. What finished him off was Goku existing, having stolen what Vegeta still viewed as both an unreachable legend and his immutable birthright. His pride couldn't take it. And pride was all Vegeta had left.

The first time Goku saw Vegeta flicker gold, he knew that Vegeta's Super Saiyan was rooted here, on Earth. Rooted in him.

It wasn't his hands that had broken Vegeta, but on some level, it was still his responsibility. So he smiled and gave his congratulations. He didn't understand this internal battle or the scars it had left, but Vegeta had won, and that was worth celebrating.

Even years later, no one else seemed to notice that Vegeta talked about Super Saiyan like something to defeat.


End file.
